Chronicles of the Knights Simplar
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Sir Tad Goes to Washington Jail

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

From the Scribe-
Being Knights Simplars, Sir Tad and his fierce battle charger Peanut are big fans of Dan Brown's books. Whenever they can, they love reading about our sister organization the Knights Templar, and the conspiricies that surround them. Sir Tad came to learn that the Scribe Dan Brown's latest book was going to be about the Freemasons and was to take place in our Great Nation's Capitol, Washington D.C., so Sir Tad and Peanut headed to Washington to visit the Masonic Temple there, and to do a little sightseeing. Never did we expect the distressing phone call that was to follow-

"Thank you for calling the Global Headquarters of the International Knights Simplar, LLC. Your call is very valuable to us..."

Sir Tad, "Yes, hello! I need to speak to someone in..."

"If you would like instructions in English, please press 1, por habla Espagnol ..."

"Damnest be thou foul voicemail system!" Sir Tad exclaimed in fury as he smashed his mailed fist into the phone.

"You chose...23...for Norwegian. Is this correct? Please press 1 if this is corr.."

When he once again smashed the cursed phone, a policman looked over at him at which Sir Tad replied, "sorry about that."

"You pressed...54. I'm sorry, but...54 is not an option. To hear the menu again, please press 1...to speak to an actual person, please stay on the line."

Twenty three minutes later, Sir Tad finally got through to me and he excitedly explained what happened.

I said "Slow down Sir Tad and start from the beginning please!"

"Well, Peanut and I were a little tired from walking all day and my feet were quite sore since I was wearing my new boots of mail, and we were a little lost if I must admit it, so we just sat down for a few minutes in front of the White House..."

"I see, they don't really allow you to do that..." I replied. "I know that now!" Sir Tad shouted, "But no one bothered to tell me that! All of the guards were busy watching a group of people approaching with the same kind of sign-on-a-stick thingies that I saw in Texas."

"Yes, signs of protest, go on..." I urged.

"Well, the next thing I knew," continued Sir Tad, "all of these people started sitting around me, and I thought I recognized a few of them from that excellent Cookout in Crawford that I attended a few weeks ago, so I started chatting to one or two of them and the next thing I know, Peanut and I are being thrown into a Paddy Wagon!"

"That's incredible! Didn't you receive some type of warning to move on before they arrested you?" I queried.

Sir Tad replied sheepishly,"Well, I might have, but there was much noise, and I had my helmet on, and you know how hard it is to hear with this thing."
"Yes, I think I understand," I offered, "I'll contact the legal department forthwith and we'll have you and Peanut out in no time."
Sir Tad said in a hushed tone, "Yes and please hurry, for I cannot take this much longer!"
"Why? Is it really so bad? Are they forcing a confession out of you? Beating you with an old telephone book? Electric shock?" I asked urgently.

"No, it's not that," Sir Tad replied, "Peanut and I stopped at Taco Bell for lunch, and you know how much Peanut loves those tasty burritos, and then they put us in the same cell and....just hurry boy! God Speed!"

I am happy to report that Sir Tad and Peanut hath since been freed after we paid their fines and they are recovering from their ordeal nicely.

For previous exploits of the Knights Simplar see-
Welcome to the Knights Simplar
Ancient Order of the Knights Simplar-About us
The Shepherd and the Magi
You Can't Stop Running Water
Thank God for Sean Penn!
Picnic with the ACLU